Not yet
by Elfin Emerald
Summary: Iris is a BOGGLEFISH. Kyle, Sean, Vanessa, Liz, and Kat are just interns trying to stay alive, who knew that they'd be dragged into an Artemis Fowl scheme. Hey! Leave Foaly's sister out of this! Chapter three is up. Two words for Arty: Total Recal. Grin
1. Meet the gang

No title. Please review and suggest a name for the title. Chapter one Pairing: Kyle/Nessa, maybe some Holly/Arty *Shrug Authors note: I have no use for petty authors notes. I mock thee, oh, authors note writers! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! Kip is their form of money. MUAHAHAHA!!!! No, I did not forget Sean, he is just really quiet and is a good listener. I do solomly promise, I shall not abandon this fiction (unless everybody hates it) and that all chapters should be at least one thousand words or more. Claimer: *Crickets chirping* Disclaimer: I am not Eion Colfer. I do not own bogglefish. I do not own. anything that belongs to someone else. Dedication: My lil sis and Nytvision. You go girl(s)!!  
  
"Yo, Nessa!" Kyle-a tallish elf with thick purple hair and green contacts- called to Vanessa, or as her friends called her 'Nessa. "L-mat. You in?"  
She thought for a moment, her ebony ringlets swaying. "Who else is in?" she asked. Her blue eyes curious who would have the kind of money needed.  
"Only me, Sean, Lizzie and Liz's friend, what's her name"  
When she didn't speak for a moment he said, "I have ten Kips."  
"I only have eight," she admitted.  
He tosses her a coin, "You owe me," he said laughing. True, she thought, but she would pay him back only because she couldn't stand being in debt to anyone, not because she was forced to. He liked her way to much for that.  
"If I keep spending like this, I'll have to catch stink worms with my bare hands for Iris."  
"I'll help," he added, laughing.  
She looked at her friend. If she had to get rid of Iris, her Atlantian Bogglefish, which was a possibility if she did not make some fast cash, he would be first choice to take care of her, but since most of the interns were relatively poor, that had a slim -no- very slim chance of happening.  
  
A world away, dearest Arty was sitting at his computer, his fingers shaking from exhaustion, he hadn't slept in nineteen hours, and was not planning to for another four. It was currently two AM.  
He clicked on his email icon. Two new mails. He opened the first, even though it was an email he did not recognize. It read:  
  
From: dig@dirt.net To: GoldenBoy@Fowl.2d  
  
Fowl. Tara. McGrady farm. All will be explained. I have what you want; Faries. The seventeenth. Be there and bring the girl.  
  
Diggums. Mulch Diggums.  
  
Artemis thought for a moment, the name Diggums sounded familiar, but he was debating himself on what to do. He finally decided he would read the other email first. It said:  
  
From: dig@dirt.net To: GoldenBoy@Fowl.2nd  
  
Had doubts, eh? Thought so. (There was a picture of a pixie inserted) If this doesn't prove it, nothing will.  
  
Diggums.  
  
"I love the broken record that's, Skippin' in my head" the tri, Liz, Nessa and, what's her name, Kat sang at the top of their lungs. Kyle cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.  
"Who is this?" he asked.  
Liz scrunched her brow. "Stacie Orrico. A mud woman." She clarified after both boys held a blank expression.  
"A mud woman? Since when do you listen to mud woman music!?" he asked.  
  
"Since forever. 'Sides, mud-music is cool." Kat piped up.  
"Mm-hmm. Now it has it's own term and everything?" Kyle asked, well not really, it was more of a statement.  
"Yep!" Kat chirped.  
"*Cough*rhetorical*cough*" Courtesy of Vanessa.  
  
==Thirty minutes later==  
  
The gang were all sitting on dryers thirty minutes later in this particular order: Kyle, Vanessa, Kat, Sean and Liz. (A/N: I never got around to describing all of them, so I'll redo all of them)  
  
Vanessa: Slightly shorter than Kyle, Ebony ringlets that go halfway down her back. She has blue eyes. Kat: Really babyish, but smart. She skipped two grades. She has bright red hair and green eyes. Sean: Short, but taller than Liz, he has sandy blond hair and clear blue eyes. Liz: Has a good memory. Brown hair with red highlights she has a deep mahogany eyes. Kyle: Thick purple hair, has blue eyes, but green contacts, so his eyes are green tinted.  
  
A full seventeen hours later, Butler was discussing the issue at hand; faries and this Mr. Diggums. A very secretive Mr. Digger.  
"Are you sure?" Butler asked, looking at the picture. It was almost enough to make him remember, but not quite. Luckily for the author, or her plot would go down the drain.  
"Trust me, Dom-Butler." He said, and he did. I must ask Juliet if she told him my name, Butler thought. Simultaniously, Artemis thoughts were similar to this: Dom? Where did I get that from?  
  
Five-Five-Five-four-four-four-four. Riiiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiiiiiing. After the third ring, Juliet finally picked up her phone. "Who is it and make it quick" she said.  
"Juliet," Butler started. "You didn't."  
"I did not what, Dom?" she asked.  
"Tell Artemis my name." He finished.  
"Noooo." She said slowly.  
"Julie, can you be home the seventeenth?" he asked her.  
She thought for a moment, "Yes," she answered. Not necessarily, but the guy would surely love to be spared a match with the Jade Princess.  
"Ok, well, bye, I love you, Sis." He said.  
"You're so emotional for a bodyguard" she said, and laughed. Why did the words feel like she had said them before? She thought. Then they hung up.  
  
"Did you bug the dwarf?" a whispery voice asked.  
"Sure did." Said a second voice, even more mysteriously.  
  
*Nessa's apartment*  
  
Back at Nessa's apartment, Iris was floating on her back and just happened to discovered something: it was purple and thin and connected to her body. It was her fin. Since, as you know, bogglefish are nearsighted, it looked like a blurry thing attacking her. She boggled at it, and boggled at it, and boggled at it. This might be a realllly long wait. Suddenly it came to her: It was an idol to be worshiped. If you have a good memory, you will remember that:  
  
a. Iris is on her back b. bogglefish have no knees c. the object is her own fin.  
  
She suddenly wonedered if the idol was gold. What is gold? She boggled and wondered what gold was, the purple object forgotten for the time being. 


	2. And the villans

Title: Not yet.  
Chapter: two  
Authors Note: I want ten reviews before I post chapter three, and yes I used my name, Kat, but only because I did not feel like coming up with a new name, and I made her babyish and have no romance, so she is not a self insertation, or a Mary Sue. Or maybe she is..  
Pairings: Kyle/Nessa, Choice(Review on): Holly/Arty Foally/Holly and possibly some Rootsy/Vinyana, but don't count on it.  
Disclaimer: I own not but what I own.  
Claimer: *Crickets chirping*  
Dedication: Kelsey, my first reviewer!  
  
Reviewage:  
  
Kelsey: Yes, it shall all tie in, The gang, Arty, Iris- maybe not Iris- and Holls. Do not be confused. Well, maybe you can be, but do not be so confused that your eyes pop out from boggling and you can no longer read my story. *Dramatic sigh* The Horror!! I may have a lot more about Iris, maybe she can even meet Bob, but don't count your luck. Well, technicly, you can, but do not assume that the amount of luck will be high.  
  
Iris: O.o  
  
Me: Yeah, you are right that made no sense.  
  
Iris: O.o  
  
Me: Don't stare at me in that tone of voice!  
  
Iris: O.o  
  
Me: That's it, you are so grounded!  
  
In a shadowy alley, two ithings/i were sitting around a box. A sound like a low vibrating was coming from a tiny speaker.  
  
"C'mon, Ger-" He quickly got punched in the nose and pinched at the base of the neck by the second person, or the one whose first three letters in his name were G-E-R. As his comrade was sleeping in the gravel, Ger leaned in to the tape and listened intently.  
  
*Nessa's apartment*  
  
Iris boggled at a particularly interesting piece of wall- just beyond the glass- and eventually decided that it was her long lost mother. Swimming towards it, she bumped into the wall *several* times. She had a problem that is all too common among Atlantian Bogglefish: Consistency. It is like once they start something, they are addicted to that thing until they forgot what it was they were addicted to.  
  
Let's follow the sequence of events: Bump into the wall, Boggle at her long lost mother, bump, boggle, bump, boggle, bump, boggle. Fun, eh?  
  
*Laundry Mat*  
  
"Got any threes?" Kyle asked.  
"Go fish," said Vanessa.  
"Darn!" he said, and picked up a card from the pile.  
"Sean, got any sixes?" Kat asked.  
He looked at her and grudgingly tossed her two sixes.  
"And the other one?" Liz asked. Kyle grinned. He sighed and handed her the six of diamonds. Kat put down all four sixes and squealed. "Uno!" she called. Vanessa laughed.  
"Note that were playing 'Go fish'," Kyle said, and grinned. Kat looked close to tears.  
"C'mon, we didn't mean it, right Kyle?" and Sean elbowed Kyle. He may not talk much, but he did when one of his friends needed comfort.  
"Uh, right." Kyle said quickly.  
Ding.  
"Loads done," 'Nessa said.  
"No dur," Liz commented dryly.  
  
*Airport*  
  
Juliet stepped into the Bentley.  
"What did you say this guys name was?" She asked again.  
"Mr. Diggums." Butler said.  
Juliet, as she passed out, fell sluggishly to the floor of the car and uttered a single word: Mulch.  
Butler and Artemis looked at each other, Artemis raised an eyebrow.  
"Probably an old boyfriend," Butler shrugged. Artemis wasn't quite so sure, the name Diggums brought to his mind a monkey with long toes. Why? Until total recall (which he was very close to), he would not know.  
  
Mulch was digging through layers of dirt-no, fine quality sod, in the words of a skilled dwarf, and Mulch was the best in the business if he did say so himself, and he did.  
His beard picked up some activity to his left. He stopped and felt the side of his tunnel. After a moment, he dubbed this activity to be prairie dogs and moved on.  
  
Ten minutes later, Liz, Kat and 'Nessa were putting the darks/brights into the washer while Kyle and Sean were taking the whites out. After all of the darks were into the machine, Vanessa said, "Pay up!" with her hand out. Each of the group groaned but handed her a small, thin silver coin, known as a 'Kip' which she put into the slot and it started to fill up with water.  
  
*Haven*  
  
In downtown Haven, things were just as peachy as they were at the laundry mat, but were about to get a whole lot worse. Foally was about to check his mail. Undernet, Genious@Foally.me (yes, he was that conceited) Password: Foally35178219084893636851728918723513, (And, yes, he knew all of the numbers by heart.) mail, options, read, from: ABogglefish@HOL.hav (Haven on-line and hav-en).  
  
His face fell with every line. He jabbed the intercom and said weekly: "Holly, Commander, get in here."  
  
Iris floated up and down gently, ever now and then looking at her long lost mother whom was only three inches from her, feeling dejected. She suddenly blue out a long stream of bubbles and looked astonished. She boggled at them, wondering if they were a number, then what a number was. She pondered this for a moment, then got back to boggling. She boggled for a moment, then the bubble popped. She looked flabbergasted.  
Soon, she discovered a nearby rock. OH MY PIGGYDOODLE! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ROCK THAT HAS BEEN HERE FOR ALMOST A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! She boggled at it until she decided it was evil and demonic and turned around and boggled at the tank.  
  
Both afraid for Foally's health, and the fact that he had called Root 'Commander,' they both ran to the Operations booth and pounded on the door. Slowly and painfully, it opened to a distressed Foally on the other side. His eyes were wide. He pushed his laptop to Holly and Julius and waited for them to finish. Holly blinked several times.  
"No," she gasped.  
"Yes." said Foally.  
  
Me: Cliffy! Yes, I am evil and deranged.  
  
Iris: O.o  
  
Me: Review! 


	3. Fowl is back

Title: Not Yet  
Chapter: three  
Dedication: my reviewers and Nytvision.  
Authors note: Hmmm, flaws? I shall try. Sorry about the Foaly ooc- ness. This is the chapter where a lot ties together.  
Disclaimer: I do not own bogglefish, or anything that is Eions.  
Claimer: Iris, Kyle, Sean, Kat, Nessa, and Lizzie. I know I really shouldn't have so many OCs, but I could not help myself. I may make the Eion colfers characters parts larger so it won't be so bad. Hmmmm.  
Dedication: Nytvision, Jaylene, Kelsey, Mage Kitty, and Alex. You guys rock!  
  
Reviewage:  
  
Mage Kitty: Thank you. I did not really expect ten reviews. I wanted to know what happened.  
Kelsey: Thanks for the tips. I don't know what happened 'bout that, how all me words got messed up. Yes memory error, all the rest: me being moronic. That chappie was splashed together in very little time and had very little effort put into it. Sorry if my writing quality suffered, Jay said it was good and she would give me a dollar if I hade chapter two done by the time she got to my house. Yes, I am a sucker. I'm glad you like Iris.  
Alex: Thanks for the support and the advice.  
  
Iris: O.o  
  
Me: Shut up!  
  
==Op booth==  
  
In the operations booth, Holly, Foaly and Julius were discussing the important matter at hand: the ransom note. The email, in case you were wondering, read:  
  
From: Abogglefish@HOL.hav To: Genius@Foaly.me  
  
I have Jenn. One ton, small unmarked ingots only, the alley behind the house, tomorrow, or the red rooster strikes.  
  
Jenn just happens to be Foaly's sister. Anyone who knew Foaly well enough could tell you that he would jump off a cliff for her. He looked at Holly, who was confused about parts of the email.  
"Well?" Holly asked.  
He looked at her and opened his mouth and considered going into lecture mode, but suddenly his whole body felt as heavy as a load of bricks.  
"You know him don't you?" she asked, already knowing the answer.  
Foaly looked at her, and finally said, "He was my best friend at the university."  
"And the red rooster?" she prodded.  
He opened his mouth slowly, building anticipation.  
"Just get on with it, you stupid donkey!!" Commander Root yelled and immediately felt bad; his own younger sister had died of a rouge troll when he was barely six hundred.  
Foaly glared at him, and then turned to Holly. "Have you ever heard of 'Inkheart?'?"  
Holly thought for a moment, "No, but I am guessing that it is a mud man movie-"  
"Book," he cut her off.  
"Book, whatever and you both read it and." she trailed off, hoping Foaly would get the hint that she wanted him to continue. To her surprise, he decided to start at the begging, the very beginning.  
  
He closed his eyes, as if reliving a painful memory. He breathed in deeply before starting, "Back at the university, Jason and I were rivals, but not like Opal and I, like friendly rivals. Well, when it came to the science fair on year, my iris cam beat his-" Foaly then continued to ramble on about his old friend and him had become bitter rivals than full on enemies. (A/n: More about the rooster later)  
  
==Nessa's apartment==  
  
Speaking of Iris- After getting a sense of stability from bumping into the wall, several times might I add, she decided to investigate a particularly rowdy looking piece of stink worm. She boggled at it and wondered if she should eat it. Her rather small brain had absolutely no opinion in the matter whatsoever. She gobbled a piece it down and boggled at the rest of the mysterious object that arrived daily.  
  
==Later, Sean at home==  
  
He turned on his computer (Really, really old computer) and saw that he had no new mail. After a moment a familiar voice said, "You've got mail." He clicked on the icon and waited for it to load.  
  
The email was routed through through Sweden, although our main villain is Ger and his accompas, *himthint*. It said:  
  
Ring, Ring.  
  
Huh? He thought to himself, before his phone (he rarely ever answered his phone, he only kept it for emergencies) rang. There was only one person who could be calling him, Ger.  
He hesitated, before slowly picking it up.  
"Ge-" he started.  
"Shut up you moron! Do not ever use my name!"  
"Okay," he said.  
"Now listen up, you little worm. Be in the alleyway behind the nerd's house, tomorrow, if he doesn't pay up, the red rooster strikes, and you'll help it, won't you?" He had done minor things for Ger, mainly stealing, but never arson. He gulped.  
"I don't have a choice, do I?" he asked, although he knew the answer.  
"You do boy, ya live or" and then he made a slit throat noise and the line went dead.  
  
==Nessa's apartment==  
  
Nessa burped. Did I do that? She thought. She boggled at the bubbles at the top of the water. She got a little to close for comfort and the bubble popped. She sat astounded for a minute. She then worked up the courage to burp again. For the sequence of events that came next, I have one word: consistency.  
  
==Dark alley==  
  
It had all been too simple; all he had to do was have two things: One, an intern who was desperate for cash, and two, someone who was mad at Foaly. Both had been relatively easy to acquire. Following in mommy's footsteps. Know who it is yet? Ger Kboi. (A/N sorry if it's wrong, I haven't read the second for a while)  
He sat, leaning over the tape, and heard the following conversation: "Boo!" there was silence for a moment.  
  
==Somewhere==  
  
Artemis turned slowly. This thing looked familiar. He (Very sophisticatedly and Arty-like) rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked at him for a moment.  
Mulch, expecting this said, "Holly."  
Artemis blinked and sat down on a nearby haystack. After a moment he said, "Mulch, I specifically told you to wait 'A few years.' What has it been, a month?"  
Mulch smiled; Fowl was back. 


End file.
